Mike Wild is my right hand man,i have been training him for six years with a varying degree of success and some slight setbacks."Der... wot` thems green gherkin fings Mark ?"he asked last week whilst extracting a cucumber from his nostril (its ok i put it in the 50p box)..."It`s a cucumber Mike i replied"....i think he`s got it now.
Mike is from Glossop,an ex Guinea pig rustler and insurance salesman,now in his ninety third year has very kindly agreed to help me out on the veg stall.His main attributes are sitting down and "just nipping to the pound shop,just nipping to iceland for a pork pie"etc.
At one time he was Glossops finest and only cage fighter,although he only had the one bout,it was a vicious and no holds barred affair.Mike opened the cage in his very best pink string leotard and dived in all guns blazing.....sadly three four minute rounds later he was left defeated,battered bloodied bruised and deflated...the Budgie won by three falls and a cuttlefish to the goolies !Mike was also a founder member of the Glossop Gurners,the famous amatuer football team,sadly after Frank "the fetler"Firkin(manager and main sponser) had an unfortunate incident with Shirley the sheep,the team was quickly dispanded and brushed under the allotment.